Hit Back by the Curse Chapter 29

In fact, he finally understood that the reason why [she] in the hospital did not share the memories related to the kitten must not be because there were no happy things there or those happy memories were covered.

Those are the friends who can make Kaia Ogata willingly sleep (die) together, no matter what kind of abuse she suffers in other worlds, no matter how tragic the final outcome is, just like those criminals in the hospital. Like some happiness, the time spent with them must also be happy for Kaia Ogata. It is the happiness that can cover up all other misfortunes and allow her to live in this garbage world for eleven years without committing suicide.

But when she chooses to dissipate, she should also take away all these precious memories as 'things that only belong to me', which makes her feel so at a loss when the second personality (subconscious) appears. You can't become human yourself. Human beings have both negative emotions and positive emotions. For Kaia Ogata, without those memories (happiness), she cannot be considered a complete person at all.
 
I don’t know if the teacher realizes this. Emery Xia thought, looking at Noctua Zhengdao's expression behind the desk from a few meters away. He shouldn't have thought of it. After all, the materials that allowed Emery Xia to deduce this point step by step were all provided by him. And unlike Emery Xia, who only knew Kaia Ogata for less than a day, Noctua Masami had grown up in the past three years. I have continued to think and study about Kaia Ogata.

...So he refuses to admit this conclusion? That's right, if their 'guesses' (Emery Xia has determined that all of these are facts at this time) are all correct, then Kaia Ogata...whether it was the girl who died in the living room or later It is too pitiful for [Kaia Ogata] to be reborn in a body, omniscient and omnipotent, but unable to become a human being.

"Then the self-awareness disappeared. Only the body itself and the remaining powerful spell power were left. The spell was activated, and a person seemed to appear." Noctua said, "After those three years of study, she should think that she has mastered being a human being." ...As Kaia Ogata has all the knowledge, she finally opened her eyes."