It Is All Ha Ha Chapter 2

Simon was particularly annoyed with Parker. She didn't know where Parker got her WeChat number, and he harassed her day and night.

Either they wanted to invite him out for dinner, or they wanted to share various WeChat public accounts with him, including some Taobao likes. He sent a string of ellipsis for no apparent reason, and Parker sent a text message saying, "Sorry, I sent it to the wrong person. Oops, are you there? How about giving me a like?"

Then Simon blocked Parker.

Parker simply called Simon.

Simon didn't know it was Parker. After she picked up the phone, she felt a headache when she heard that powerful voice.

"What do you want to do?" Simon asked impatiently, "Is there anyone like you?"

Parker said, "I've heard about it all. Is Ryan going to get married? Does he have to support his family after getting married? How much would you two pay for a conversation in a teahouse? What would you do if he succumbed to reality and changed his career? I won't say anything. I'm really worried about you and want to relieve your worries. So here comes the question, how can I relieve your worries? Only a humble person like me can bravely take over!"

"You ate too much stew! Why is your mouth full of dirt?" Simon said, "Well, I'll just give in to reality and don't bother you."

"No, you're different from him. You're in this business." Parker's voice softened, but his strong Beijing accent sounded lazy and ruffian no matter how soft it was. "Isn't it good to be my partner? From now on, you don't have to perform crosstalk in that shabby teahouse for a few dozen yuan. Come with me to perform commercial performances and make a lot of money."

"How old are you?" Simon asked indifferently.

"Twenty-one." Parker replied.

Simon said: "I am already 26 years old, and you are really my good brother."

"Oh my, what a coincidence!" Parker was taken aback, but the ability of excellent crosstalk performers to pick up on others' conversations is not to be underestimated, so he immediately said, "A woman three years older than you will hold a golden brick, and a man two plus three years older than you will be remembered forever, and we will walk together for the rest of our lives. If you call me 'brother', I will teach you how to feed a dog..."

"Don't force it!" Simon interrupted him, "I've never heard of it!"

"You really flatter me." Parker replied with a smile. Simon's words just now were very standard flattering sentences, and Parker knew that Simon was used to it and couldn't get used to it.

Simon was silent. Parker was afraid that he would hang up the phone, so he immediately said, "Just give me a word. If I can do it, it doesn't matter if it's flying in the sky, running on the ground, swimming in the water, jumping in the grass, floating in outer space, or lying in the morgue."

"......" Simon thought what the hell was going on. He was silent for a while, then said, "Then find a respected senior to plead for you. I won't listen to you." He just said that casually, hung up, and then blocked the number.

This unintentional remark became a big deal when it reached Parker's ears. In the current crosstalk industry, who among the respected seniors can surpass his master Henry? Parker was not vague either. He ran to his master's house and begged for mercy whenever he had time. This is how such a story came about. Otherwise, why would there be so much trouble?

Henry had lunch and had to rest for a while. Parker didn't have the habit of taking a nap. There was nothing else to do in this yard except tending to flowers and goldfish, feeding pigeons and cats. Besides, how could a few young people like to do these things? Parker could only sit on the armchair and play games. He was not playing well and was in a bad mood. Looking at his friend list, Ryan was online.

A cruel message was sent.

"Brother Zheng, what should I do?"

After a while, Ryan came back: "What should I do?"

"Simon!"

Ryan was busy playing games and had no time to reply to Parker. After a long while, he finally said, "Don't mess with him recently. He will graduate in June and is very busy now."

"You got married in June, and he graduated in June. It's time for you two to break up," Parker said. "It's breakup season. The ancients were right."

"You're really rude."

"I can only be rude to him verbally." Parker asked, "How come he is only graduating at the age of 26? Did he fail a grade? What did he study?"

Ryan said vaguely: "Learning to operate a boiler."

"Oh!" Parker understood, "So performing crosstalk is not enough to make a living. I have to go to Lanxiang to learn some skills to rely on."

"Stop talking nonsense." Ryan said, "I'll come back and give him some advice."

Parker said: "Thank you, Brother Zheng."

"Why thank me? I just can't let him go." Ryan explained, "I met him when he was in college. We were both amateurs who liked crosstalk, so we got together. I never thought of doing this for the rest of my life, but he..."

"What's wrong?" Parker asked.

"He gave up a lot of things," Ryan said. "He really likes it."

"Give up burning the boiler?" Parker said seriously, "That means giving up a lot of... furnace ash."

Ryan sent a series of ellipsis and then said: "Whatever you say is what it is."

"Well, you are entrusting me with your orphan before you die." Parker said, "I will definitely do my best to assist the young master and preserve the Han Dynasty!"

Ryan said: "......Goodbye."

Henry did not express his attitude to Parker. It has been a common sight for a disciple to ask his master to settle a dispute since ancient times, but it has never been heard of a disciple asking his master to accept another disciple purely because he wants the other person.

What does this have to do with anything?

Parker is a shameless guy, but Henry is still somewhat reserved and dignified. No matter how much he dotes on his disciple, he cannot let him do whatever he wants.

So the matter was put on hold.

As the weather got hotter, Parker's partner Daniel suddenly had some health problems and was admitted to the hospital. There were many performances in the summer, but Daniel didn't go, and Parker was too lazy to move. He didn't like the atmosphere of the folk art troupe. There were a lot of uncles and uncles backstage, all of them were stars, and they were all artists, but in fact, the jokes they said were really funny. Although he was delicate, he was not very willing to communicate with those uncles and uncles, even if he was the same generation or elder to many people.

But the generation gap is something more terrifying than age and seniority.

This job actually made Parker very depressed. He envied the era of crosstalk in small theaters as described by his master, and also envied those who performed crosstalk in teahouses. He was picked up by Henry and raised from childhood. He only performed in the small garden when he was a child, and later his master did not ask any apprentice to go there anymore.

The culture of the market should be rooted in the ground. If you let it float in the air and put it in a certain art hall, it will not be the same.

If crosstalk is boring, why not play mahjong? Mahjong is more lively.

But Parker still didn't realize these high-end, unpredictable, sad things, he just felt bored. The work of the Quyi Troupe was arranged for him by Henry. It was also because Henry was afraid that Parker would be idle, so he found him a job to survive. Otherwise, when Henry died a hundred years later, wouldn't Parker, a young man, starve to death?

Parker came out of the hospital. He had just finished seeing Daniel.

He was going to say a few polite words, but he suddenly told Daniel that he wanted to break up, as if he was possessed by a ghost. Daniel was surprised at first, but then he understood what Parker meant. He said that his health was not as good as before, and Xiao Wuye should have a better development. When Parker heard this, he was filled with emotion and stood up and bowed to Daniel. Daniel smiled and waved his hands, saying that he was indeed not suitable to be a partner with Xiao Wuye. Young people should talk about things that young people like, and they, the old antiques, are really outdated.

Parker was extremely grateful for this wise response.

He left the hospital with brisk steps, and as soon as he stepped out of the door, he felt something was wrong. What was he happy about? He hadn't found his new partner yet, so was he going to do a quick board reading alone? He wanted to flirt with Simon, but Ryan told him that Simon was very busy recently. Parker was puzzled. Are Lanxiang's graduation requirements so high?

No, Lanxiang is in Shandong. What is there in Beijing? Beida Jade Bird or Tsinghua Tongfang? It sounds like a place to learn computer repair.

Are there any technical schools in Beijing where I can learn how to operate a boiler?

Wudaokou, Tsinghua University.

Simon had just finished talking about his thesis with his teacher and had missed lunch time. He happened to live close to the South Gate, so he decided to go out for lunch and take a stroll and buy some things on the way.

Even on weekends, there are many students in high school uniforms hanging around here. Their spare time is rich and colorful. Two or three people can order a table of food, and then everyone holds up their phones to share the latest new and interesting things with each other.

Simon glanced over and happened to see Parker on the other person's phone screen. It might be a performance at a TV gala. Parker was wearing a suit and tie, which was completely different from the supporting actors around him. The others looked like middle-aged rural grassroots cadres, while Parker looked like a domineering president.

It seems awkward no matter how you look at it.

But young girls don’t care about these things. They just click on a video on Bilibili to watch handsome guys and kill time, that’s all.

Parker is talking about a typical TV crosstalk, which is a dozen minutes long content. It does not require any superb technical performances, and it does not matter whether there is any interaction with the audience. The evening performance is like this. Everyone likes to watch idol artists sing and dance. Crosstalk is not as good as disco.

So after seeing all this, Simon's evaluation of Parker was that he was a useless person and a fool.

Coupled with the harassment from the other party during this period of time, he felt that Parker was even more unpleasant. He was obviously a famous master, so how could he be so low-class? So dandy? Wouldn't it be better to learn something real from the old master? It's such a waste of talent.

He kept looking at the girls in the same posture. If he kept his gaze for a long time, he would be noticed. The girls turned their heads to look at him in confusion. Seeing that he was a cool and quiet boy, they did not feel offended. Instead, they were excited and chattered.

Simon quickly withdrew her gaze, ate a few bites of food and left.

Time flies and it's June. Simon has basically finished all the school stuff, except for getting his diploma. Ryan invited him to be the best man at his wedding, and explained a lot of things to him. After finishing the serious talk, he talked about Parker.

As they were all busy with their own things, they hadn't performed crosstalk in a teahouse for a long time. The only time they met was when Ryan accompanied Simon to buy suits, which came in handy for weddings and graduation ceremonies.

"Haven't you decided what to do in the future?" Ryan asked.

"I haven't thought about it." Simon said evasively, "I'm not in a hurry."

Ryan said: "Didn't your teacher do any ideological work for you?"

Simon said: "He did introduce me to a lot of jobs, some of which would give me a Beijing hukou, and some of which would allow me to get paid directly. But I guess he was bored because I was the only one in the class who had no job, just like an old lady who always likes to introduce people to potential partners."

"How can you be bored? You really don't respect your teacher at all." Ryan said with a smile, "He hopes that you can apply what you have learned. Don't waste your first place in the class."

"What about you?" Simon asked, "You've been hanging around for two years, what are you going to do in the future?"

Ryan said: "My old profession, being a programmer, writing code, is enough to support my family."

Simon said: "Then you must be the most interesting programmer."

Ryan smiled and said, "Of course."

The topic ended here, and the two fell silent. Simon picked out a suit and tried it on. Ryan looked at Simon in the mirror and said, "I think Mr. Xie Xiaowu is a good person."

Simon adjusted her collar silently without saying anything.

"He can afford the rice crust dishes sent by Cartier. If you are his partner, at least you won't have to worry about food." Ryan continued, "Besides, he hangs around you from winter to summer, and his perseverance is also true. Hey, why don't you consider it?"

"What's the big deal? What? If you leave, I'll still die? Why should I choose him as my partner?" Simon said impatiently, "Then I might as well be an engineer with a million-dollar annual salary. Besides, what serious things does he know? Without Teacher Xie, who is he? He has learned the feudal dregs of the dandy young master's flattery."

Ryan said: "That's wrong. Losing rings and bracelets is done by ladies."

Simon said: "Then he is not even as good as a woman."

Ryan was helpless: "Your resistance is really strong."

Simon said: "I get annoyed when I see him."

Ryan didn't say anything, because Parker would come to his wedding. He didn't invite her, but Xiao Wuye insisted on coming. It was such a happy occasion, who could stop her and say "don't come"? He was a little worried, not knowing how to tell Simon when the time came. He just hoped that they would be at peace and not make any noise.

How can it be?