It Is All Ha Ha Chapter 8

"You're just harassing other people's private lives!" Parker only moved his mouth but didn't do anything. "You're harassing other people's private lives!"

Yao Sheng said: "Private life? What kind of private life do you have? Tell me, what privacy do you have in front of me? You are just full and have nothing better to do! You are really going to tear down the house if you don't teach you a lesson for three days!"

"Get out!" Parker yelled, "Get out!"

Simon finished his AD calcium milk. Seeing the two gods fighting and cursing, he felt helpless. He threw the empty bottle into the trash can and asked, "Would you two like to talk about it tomorrow? If you fight at night and disturb the neighbors, what if the neighbors call the police?"

"Fighting during the day also disturbs the public! Police officers work regardless of day or night!" said Parker.

Simon said: "Everyone is at work during the day, so the probability of calling the police is relatively small."

Parker said: "What you said makes sense."

Yao Sheng said: "What the hell is this! Parker, are you an idiot?"

Parker said: "Shut up, Langweixian! Our teacher Ye is going to rest, you should leave quickly and smoothly!"

"Okay! Let's take a rest!" Yao Sheng strode towards the bedroom and kicked open the door. "I'm not leaving! I'm staying here today! Go to sleep! Good night!"

He was about to take off his clothes and lie on the bed when Parker ran over and grabbed him: "This is Teacher Ye's room!"

Yao Sheng was full of questions: "Isn't this your bedroom? You two sleep together? Are you awesome enough?"

"Why is it that a normal person doesn't say a word?" Parker reached out and touched Yao Sheng's forehead. "Can't he even understand the language logic of normal humans? I mean, this is Teacher Ye's room. When did you say that we sleep together? Can I sleep in the study room?"

"I don't care." Yao Sheng pretended to be dead and threw back the quilt and lay down. "Oh, you're quite gentle. That's good. Turn off the lights and go out."

Parker kicked the bed and said, "You are sick! You are sleeping in a warm quilt in the middle of summer! I'll kill you with the heat! Get up!" He reached out to pull Yao Sheng, but Yao Sheng continued to play dead and fell down hard. The two were of equal build and neither could beat the other. Parker was exhausted and simply gave up, cursing, "I'll turn off the power in this room for you! I'll kill you with the heat!"

Yao Sheng remained unmoved.

Parker closed the door tightly for him. Simon leaned against the wall and looked at him. He said to Simon helplessly, "He is just like this. Please don't be offended."

"I'm not surprised." Simon said, "It's just that I feel a little... shattered."

There was no way Simon didn't know about Yao Sheng, such a famous person. However, Yao Sheng appeared to be a man of both virtue and talent in public. Simon didn't expect that he was so eccentric in private. He seemed even crazier than Parker.

Is the pressure of traditional trades very great? Why are all the children of these aristocratic families like this?

"There are times when he can be even more stupid. When he does something stupid, he's like a devil." Parker looked like he didn't want to talk about it anymore. Simon thought, you two should stop looking down on each other.

"This is all we can do tonight, Mr. Ye, you should go to bed quickly." Parker said, "I will sleep on the sofa for the night, and you can sleep in my room."

With his height, he had to curl up on the sofa, unable to stretch his legs and feet straight. He looked weak, pitiful and helpless. Simon sighed and said, "Why don't you sleep with me?"

Parker asked: "You are no longer homophobic?"

"Hey, why don't you know me?" Simon said impatiently, "Then just stay gay."

"No!" Parker stood up quickly, "Please give me half a bed."

"Go away." Simon said, "Go and sleep with your childhood friend. You two old artists can exchange artistic experiences."

"Don't." Parker said quickly, "I'm afraid I'll go with you."

Parker and Simon shared a bed that night. Simon couldn't sleep well when someone was around, so she woke up at dawn and ordered breakfast for three people, but she didn't expect the two old artists to get up at noon.

This kind of routine is really not artistic at all.

Yao Sheng was as casual at Parker's house as he was at his own. He walked out shirtless and dazed, grabbing his messy hair while yelling at Parker to find some clothes for him because he wanted to take a shower. Parker was woken up by him, and with a bad temper, he threw a T-shirt at him and told him to get out.

Simon watched the whole process silently and decided to order takeout for lunch.

The three of them sat together, each with their own expression. Yao Sheng was clearly still asleep, the type that couldn't even wake up after taking a shower. Parker had a depressed look on his face, while Simon was just watching the show.

"Stop picking on the cilantro!" Parker scolded Yao Sheng, "Why is it so hard to eat a meal?"

Yao Sheng said: "What's your business if I don't eat coriander?"

Parker said: "This is my family's meal!"

Yao Sheng said: "Isn't Simon's order good?"

Simon said: "......Can you two eat properly?"

Yao Sheng said with a playful smile: "He calls you Teacher Ye? Then I should call you Teacher Ye too?"

"...No need, he's just calling me that for fun." Simon really didn't want to face this name, "Just call me by my name."

"Hey, the name is just a code name, it doesn't matter." Yao Sheng said, "How long have you two been together? How is your adjustment? When is the premiere? Can I go to support you?"

He threw a series of questions at Simon, and Simon didn't know how to answer.

"Don't worry about that. Just worry about your own business." Parker took over and asked, "I haven't seen you for a while. Where have you been?"

Yao Sheng said: "Is this the tone you use to talk to an old artist?"

"Okay." Parker said, "Where did you go to promote traditional culture?"

Yao Sheng snorted proudly and said, "I'm currently collaborating with an independent music studio to organize a performance..."

"What?" Parker interrupted him, "Doing a small business?"

"Why are you so talkative? You take on everything?" Yao Sheng said, "Do you understand cross-border cooperation? It's about combining modern trendy music with traditional opera. The librettos are all newly written, and the stage is made of holographic effects. The sound, light and electricity are particularly cool and domineering."

Parker said: "Oh, how is the effect?"

"I did a small listening session..."

"Are all the people here elderly?" Parker said, "You are really an idol for middle-aged and elderly women."

"Shut up!" Yao Sheng warned himself. Don't be angry and don't kill people. Killing people is against the law. "All the people here are young people, okay? They are all crazy! They have never seen such a trendy thing!"

Parker asked: "Didn't your master scold you for not doing your job properly?"

"Why are you scolding me?" Yao Sheng said, "If you ask young people to sit in a big theater and listen to a whole volume of "Yu Tang Chun", will they be able to listen? They are too lazy to listen at all, so why should we promote it here? Old things are not necessarily good things. You have to be flexible to survive."

Before Parker could say anything, Simon suddenly said, "I think what you said makes sense."

"Look!" Yao Sheng clapped his hands, "Teacher Ye is really conscious! I think you guys should participate in those rap shows. When I was watching, I kept thinking, these contestants' eloquence is not as good as you crosstalk performers, their speaking speed is very ordinary, and their swearing is not as bad as you, so why are they all praised so much?"

"Stop it, we call that Guankou." Parker, "There is no hip-hop in China, and there is no black artillery in crosstalk."

"I think they are all pretty much the same."

"It's much worse, okay!"

Yao Sheng waved his hand: "All in all, I think it's quite interesting to play with these new things. If the effect is good this time, I plan to continue this series and expand it overseas."

Parker smiled and said, "Then you have really transformed from an old artist into a pioneer artist. If my second senior brother saw this, he would definitely scold me again."

"Old antique." Yao Sheng said, "Your second brother is only respected by your crosstalk circle. I don't buy his account. Who cares about who?" He spoke frivolously, but he has the capital to be frivolous. Peking opera is different from crosstalk. Maybe a hundred years ago, they were all low-class, but now they are the quintessence of the country. Any place that displays the country's cultural strength cannot be without elements of Peking opera.

What about crosstalk? It only has a cold title of intangible cultural heritage, and other than that, it doesn't seem to be very impressive. It is an art form that came out of the masses. To put it simply, it is nothing more than talking. To put it more difficultly, it involves all kinds of learning and performance.

It seems to be caught in an awkward position between vulgarity and elegance, and no one is quite sure what to do.

However, Yao Sheng's remarks today did leave something in the hearts of Parker and Simon.

Summer is gradually passing and autumn is coming quickly. The hot and humid weather has gone and Beijing has welcomed the best season of the year.

September and October are the golden months, and they are the harvest seasons. During this period, the festivals are very tight, and it is also a busy period for artists. Parker was invited to perform at a literary evening party. Yang Shuanglin told him that this was a bridge he had built for him, because he saw that Parker had nothing to do all day and acted like a second-generation rich kid, so he had to come out and move around.

Parker agreed readily. It just so happened that he had been working with Simon for a while, so it was time to practice.

He was full of confidence, but Simon had some concerns. He had never said it in such a business setting, but there were many rules and it was broadcast on TV, so he was unsure. Parker promised that there was no need to be nervous, and he would take care of everything.

As a result, he made a mistake.

The two of them performed "Guessing Lantern Riddles", which has four or five different versions depending on the background. Basically, the supporting actor induces the funny actor to say a certain word, and the funny actor avoids the word through various tricks. This time, the two of them used "Knocking at the door in the middle of the night to ask who is calling", and the answer is "I", so Parker cannot use "I" in the dialogue between him and Simon.

This is a very traditional job, and there is no technical stuff involved. The two wore frosty white coats, each of them looked handsome, and bowed on the stage, drawing cheers from the audience. It was a stable scene, but Parker suddenly said "blue side" instead of "south", and the good Beijing boy instantly became a plastic Mandarin speaker.

Fortunately, Simon reacted quickly, patted Parker on the shoulder and said, "Can you spit out the two pairs of socks in your mouth first?"

"What socks? Those are cotton pants!" Parker deliberately said in a pretentious tone, "Does the Yin family think that shrinking like this is cute?"

Simon said: "Yes, if you don't know, you would think it's Thai cotton pants stuffed in my mouth."

"Pooh!" Parker spat, as if he had spit out his cotton pants, and then everything returned to normal.

This is a common episode in stage performances, it's harmless, and the two people reconciled it well, the audience bought it, so it's actually nothing serious.

But just after he stepped down from the stage, Parker received a call from Yang Shuanglin, asking him and Simon to come to the master.

Parker was puzzled, and Simon didn't know why either, so the two of them could only go over obediently.

After entering the door, the atmosphere was not right.

Henry was always kind and doting on Parker. But today, his expression was very serious. Yang Shuanglin sat next to Henry, making it seem like a three-person trial.

Parker asked: "Master, do you miss me?"

"Don't start off with such a frivolous smile and glib tongue." Yang Shuanglin said, "What happened to the performance today? Why did you lose your tongue?"

"......It's just that... people make mistakes and horses stumble." Parker muttered softly, "Who can guarantee that they will never make mistakes on stage? Besides, we have crossed the line, haven't we? We just used a cheat, isn't the effect good?"

Yang Shuanglin said sternly: "Don't try to avoid the main issue! Just because you can handle stage accidents well, does that mean you can let such accidents happen? As a crosstalk actor, you are so proud of yourself for speaking unclearly and making typos. You make a living from this, not by making a fool of yourself!"

"Is it really necessary to make such a big deal?" Parker was speechless. "It's not a big deal!"

Yang Shuanglin said: "What other big trouble do you want to cause?"

"I!"

"Parker." Henry, who had been silent the whole time, spoke up now, "You made two mistakes today. First, you made a mistake on stage, which was a shame for your years of learning and your parents who provided you with food and clothing. Second, you did not repent and instead talked back to your senior brother when he was giving you a lecture. When did I ever teach you these things?"

"Master..." Parker's attitude softened.

"Go, get a ruler." Henry pointed with his chin.

Parker's face changed immediately, but he still obediently went to the inner room to get the ruler and gave it to Henry. Simon didn't dare to say anything, and didn't know what he was going to do. Then, he saw Parker kneeling in front of Henry, with his hands raised in front of Henry, palms facing up.

Henry swung the ruler and slapped Parker's hand with great force and loud sound. Parker felt the pain very bad, but he didn't dare to cry out, he just bit his lower lip with his teeth.

After a while, his palms were swollen and red from being beaten. After about a dozen hits, Henry finally stopped. Parker was already sweating profusely, but his hands were still raised, motionless.

"Master hit you, you have to remember it." Henry said, "We artists cannot fool ourselves or the audience. You think you fooled them this time, but if you do it again, people will think you are incompetent. Skills are your livelihood, how can you make a living if no one supports you? I check your basic skills every day so that you can remember them in your heart. When Master is gone, no one will teach you anymore."

Parker lowered his head and said, "Thank you for your teachings, Master!"

Henry threw the ruler on the table and said, "Go downstairs and apply medicine, take a rest for two days, and reflect on your mistakes behind closed doors."

"Master Xie!" Parker shouted again, and moved his body. His hands were beaten like pig's trotters, and it was difficult for him to stand up. Simon was a little dazed watching this, and only then did she remember and hurried to help Parker.

Parker returned to the room where he originally lived, and the things inside were still the ones he used before.

As soon as he entered the room, Parker started yelling like crazy: "Oh my god, it hurts so much! It hurts! Teacher Ye, help me!"

"Ah?" Simon was a little confused.

"There's a medicine box on the second layer of that cabinet!" Parker pointed with his elbow, "There are painkillers and gauze in it! I'm in so much pain!"

Simon quickly took out the medicine box and bandaged Parker. He was not very good at this and the bandage was very ugly. Parker grimaced and cried, "You are going to kill me!"

"Shut up! I'm so annoyed!" Simon said, "Weren't you very manly when you were beaten just now? Why are you crying now?"

"How can it be the same!" Parker said, "If I dared to say one more word at that time, my master would beat me to death."

Simon was puzzled: "I always thought Mr. Xie doted on you, but I didn't expect that he would hit you just because you said a wrong word on stage.

"This is considered light." Parker said, "I was beaten more when I was a child."

"......" Simon has always been a very good person. She has never caused her parents any worries since she was a child, and naturally she has never been beaten. Therefore, he cannot understand the behavior of educating children by beating and scolding. "You won't resist? I think you are too wrong."

"Oh, how can I explain this score?" Parker sighed, "Do you know that in the old society, you had to sign a document with your master to learn from him? It stipulates that you would learn for five years and work for him for half a year. During the learning period, if the apprentice suffered from natural disasters, illness, or jumped into the river or looked for a well, the master would not be responsible."

Simon said: "I heard it from someone."

Parker said: "There is another sentence behind it, no matter if you are beaten to death."

"......" Simon was silent. He had heard of these things but had never seen them. After all, they were things from the old society, which was very far away from him. He could only read those brief words in books and literature.

But today, he seemed to have some practical feelings about it.

"Master hit me because it was for my own good," said Parker.

Simon said: "...I thought he was reluctant to part with it."

Parker said: "If you don't want to let me go, you won't ask me to learn martial arts. Learning martial arts is the most difficult. You have to get up before dawn to practice martial arts, and you have to be busy and chattering until very late before you can go to bed. It's like this every day, regardless of the weather. And this doesn't include the beatings and scoldings..."

"Then why do you want to learn?" Simon asked, "Why did Mr. Xie ask you to learn?"

Parker lowered his eyes and thought for a while, then said, "Master always said that I was given a living by my ancestors. Actually, I didn't like to learn at first, it was too hard, really, it's not nice to say it out loud. But later when I grew up, I understood his painstaking efforts. Master is old, he knows that I have no knowledge and skills, he was afraid that I would not be able to survive alone in the future, so he taught me a skill, at least I won't starve to death."

Master and apprentice are like father and son, let alone a child apprentice like Parker who was raised by Henry since childhood. On one side is doting and on the other side is strictness, which is a very difficult relationship to balance. Parker is the apple of the old man's eye, how can he bear to hit him?

But the real reluctance is actually willingness to give up. Beat him and let him remember not to make mistakes in the future. Only then can he go smoothly along the way and not make big mistakes again.

"Do you think it's quite feudal?" Parker smiled embarrassedly, "Isn't it very lacking in human rights?"

Simon shook her head. He was just in a state of turmoil. The bright and beautiful Xiao Wu Ye in front of her turned out to have this side. He was not as willful and spoiled as usual. Instead, he was beaten to death, but he still said good things to his master. If it were any other ordinary boy of this age, he would have run away from home long ago.

Simon had never thought that Parker would have such a tolerant and restrained side, never.

It seemed that from this moment on, he really got to know Parker as a person, as well as the hardships behind this prestigious family.

Crosstalk is such a struggling and contradictory existence, always bringing joy to others and leaving pain to itself.

No one has it easy.

Simon looked down at Parker's hands that were tied up like dumplings by her, touched them gently, and asked softly: "Does it still hurt?"

Parker nodded continuously, then raised his hands in front of Simon.

"What for?" Simon asked puzzledly.

"It hurts." Parker said pitifully, "Please blow on it."