It Is All Ha Ha Chapter 7

This sentence woke Parker up, but he was still a little confused.

"Anti-pornography?" Parker asked, "Where does the anti-pornography campaign come from? Who are they targeting?"

Simon was stunned on the bed for a while, then she saw what was going on, and she let out a long sigh and said, "It's okay."

Parker refused: "No, you have to explain it to me clearly!"

"What do you mean?" Simon said, "I dreamed that you went to heaven and earth. It's not good to follow you. Is that not okay?"

"Am I so unbearable in your eyes?" Parker was dissatisfied.

"No." Simon shook her head, "Maybe worse."

Parker felt particularly wronged.

While they were talking, Henry kicked the door open and came in. He still had his hands behind his back. He glanced at Parker and Simon and said with a smile, "Young Masters, are you done with your work?"

The mornings in summer always come very early, and the sky is bright at five or six o'clock.

Henry was sitting in a rocking chair in the yard, while Parker and Simon stood in front of him with their heads down like weak chickens. Parker first recited a passage from "Geographical Map" to warm up his hands. After he finished reciting, Henry opened his eyes and looked at Simon: "Xiao Ye, what can you do?"

"I..." Simon looked at Parker, feeling like a teacher checking her recitation of a text.

He had always been a very good student since he was young, and his brain was sharp and he could remember things very quickly. But in front of Henry, he always felt like his brain was empty.

"Let's play a piece of 'Eight Screens.'" Henry said leisurely, "Little lady."

Simon hummed, took a breath, and continued: "Thinking back then, there was a fat beauty in the Tang Dynasty. Her surname was Yang, her given name was Yuhuan, and her courtesy name was Taizhen. It was because Emperor Minghuang's son, Shou Wang Li Mao, was selecting a c0ncubine..." He spoke clearly and coherently, and Parker, who was standing beside him, listened very nervously, fearing that he would make a mistake.

"Eight Screens" is a very classic traditional crosstalk, telling stories of various historical figures, and the essence lies in the idioms. "Eight Screens" originated from screen paintings, but there are more than eight stories in it. It's just that when performing nowadays, actors often choose sections such as "children", "reckless people" and "rivers and monsters", and rarely mention other sections.

The "Little Women" part tells the story of Yang Yuhuan. It is very long and rarely used on stage. It is so strange that it is hard to tell. Parker was afraid that Simon, who was not good at it, would not know how to do it or recite it wrong, and would not be able to catch Henry's eye.

"......Later generations wrote poems to lament: Yuhuan's beauty was stunning, but the Emperor Minghuang lost his sense of shame, An Lushan's troops pressed on the border, and a handful of yellow earth buried his pretty face. Can you compare to this fat girl?" Simon finished the last syllable, flowing smoothly from beginning to end without any mistakes. Parker breathed a sigh of relief.

In fact, Simon was also relieved. Who wouldn't be nervous when an old teacher was checking their homework?

The two of them waited quietly for Henry. Henry stood up leisurely and went back to the house, but came out soon.

"You." He pointed at Parker, "Go clean up. Sweep the house and the yard."

Then he gave Simon another twenty yuan: "Go to the entrance of the alley to buy breakfast. You and Lao Wu can each buy an extra egg, and I can buy two sugar-coated cakes and a bowl of soy milk. The rest is up to you."

Simon took the twenty yuan blankly. Just as she was about to leave blankly, she heard Parker rubbing the rag and shouting, "Just buy a sugar-coated cake! Master has high blood pressure and heart disease! Eat less!"

"Wash your rag!" Henry wanted to kick Parker.

Simon was still confused, very confused. But he didn't take the twenty yuan from Henry, but went out with his phone. Henry didn't stop him, and put the twenty yuan under the flower pot.

Ten minutes later, Simon came back dejected. He was too embarrassed to talk to Henry, so he walked up to Parker who was cleaning the pillars and whispered, "Do you have cash? The auntie selling breakfast at the entrance of the alley is so hardcore that she only accepts cash."

Parker burst out laughing, pointed at the flower pot, and said, "Master left it for you, knowing that you would fail."

Simon pinched Parker: "Why didn't you say so earlier?"

Parker said, "Who asked you to be so polite? Just take whatever the master gives you. How can you say this?"

"I'm too lazy to argue with you!" Simon rolled her eyes, took the twenty yuan from under the flowerpot and left.

The breakfast for the three of them was quite simple. Henry didn't like to talk while eating. After he finished eating, he left three words for the two of them: Go to work.

Then he went out for a walk by himself.

This courtyard is not very big, but it would be quite a lot of work for two people to clean it inside and out.

Simon is a scholar after all, so it's no problem to ask him to sit aside and write "5 Years of College Entrance Examination and 3 Years of Simulation", but asking him to clean the house and do it for a whole morning is a bit too much.

He leaned on a broom as tall as a person and asked Parker: "Is this what you usually do?"

"Ah." Parker said, "I cook for Master occasionally, but my cooking is not tasty, so he doesn't ask me to cook anymore."

"So this is still popular now." Simon muttered.

"What else?" Parker said, "I live with my master at home, so I have to do all kinds of work, right?"

Simon thought about it and commented: "Hardcore."

"My master said that this is how you learn a skill. If you can't even do such a trivial thing, then there is no way you can learn it." Parker said clearly, "You should perform well."

"......" Simon didn't want to say anything, but after hearing what Parker said, she felt something was wrong, "No, why don't you clean up at home? Why are you so diligent here?"

"How can it be the same?"

That’s right. Master Xiaowu is a smart man, but he can’t tell the difference?

The two of them were working in the same yard. Parker was telling Simon about his past. When he was talking about the time when he broke someone's glass while playing football in the fifth grade, Yang Shuanglin came.

"Hey, second brother, what brings you here?" Parker asked loudly.

"Send some sashimi to Master." Yang Shuanglin said, carrying a refrigerated box. "It was flown in this morning. I just got it back from the airport."

Parker whispered: "Master has three highs and you always give him this to eat."

Yang Shuanglin waved his hand and said with a smile: "Master, aren't you greedy?"

"I can't even be so greedy as you do." Parker said sarcastically.

"That's enough." Yang Shuanglin said, "We can't do without Little Fifth Master's food. You can just eat more and grab Master's food, right?"

Just as Parker was about to say something in return, Henry came back. Seeing Yang Shuanglin there, he greeted him and saw what Yang Shuanglin had brought, so lunch was ready.

Four people sat around the table. Henry took the seat. He moved his chopsticks first before others could do so.

Yang Shuanglin was a person who was very good at taking care of the dinner party. With him around, the dinner party would basically never be dull. He first asked Henry about his well-being, and then said to Parker: "Did you two stay here yesterday? I'm not saying anything, Lao Wu, you've been messing around all day long, how come your alcohol tolerance is getting worse and worse?"

"How can I compare with my senior brothers?" Parker said, "I'm still young and my skills are not yet strong enough." But he was cursing in his heart, how could I possibly drink more than you three old men in society?

"Where's Xiaoye?" Yang Shuanglin asked with a smile, "How was your rest yesterday?"

"Not bad." Simon replied lightly.

"Did you ask the master to check your homework this morning?" Yang Shuanglin asked.

"Of course." Parker said first, "Isn't this a daily routine? Ask Master to tell you how our studies are going?"

Yang Shuanglin smiled and said, "Of course you are good. You have been smart since you were a child. We can't compare to you."

Henry suddenly said: "Xiaoye, you speak clearly and fluently."

Simon paused. He did not expect Henry to comment on him. Although it was only eight simple words, it was precious. He hurriedly said, "Thank you, sir."

"I told you that our teacher Ye is very good, but you still don't believe me!" Parker clung to Henry. He made it sound like the teacher checked all the basic skills, "How about I stay with you for two more days, and you can take a look and give me some pointers?"

Henry said: "I can only manage you five brothers in the world. I can't even manage my own daughter. How can I have the ability to guide others?"

"Master!" Parker said, "Why are you so arrogant?"

Simon choked. He didn't know that Parker was so lawless in front of Henry and dared to say anything. But this was not the occasion for him to speak, so he could only eat in silence.

Yang Shuanglin said, "Old Five, how can you talk like that? You are so disrespectful."

Parker ignored Yang Shuanglin and only said to Henry: "Master, please teach him. We are partners now and we need to make progress together."

Henry said, "Eat your meal."

The topic ended here, and Yang Shuanglin began to talk about his recent work and performance arrangements, always saying that he was very busy. For an artist, being busy is the most glorious thing.

Simon felt dizzy after hearing this. He had only seen Yang Shuanglin's performances on TV. Because he had made some mistakes in his positioning of Parker, he did not dare to make any comments on Yang Shuanglin. In order to escape the muddy atmosphere at the dinner table, he took the initiative to wash the dishes as soon as he finished eating and left the battlefield.

Henry did not work and went back to his room to listen to the opera. He left Parker and Yang Shuanglin to clean up the table. Yang Shuanglin looked around and suddenly asked Parker: "Old Five, what did you mean by that just now?"

Parker was puzzled: "What do you mean?"

"You ask the master to guide him, but he is not your disciple. How can you guide him?" Yang Shuanglin asked bluntly.

Parker also said bluntly: "Then why don't you let the master accept him as his apprentice? Why, am I being too obscure?"

Yang Shuanglin said: "Hey, you have a pretty good idea!"

Parker said: "I always know how to settle accounts."

Yang Shuanglin said, "Old Five, you are just being unruly. Master loves you and has allowed you to change partners, so why are you still pushing him around? Aren't you making things difficult for Master?"

"I'm making things difficult for Master, not for you. Why are you so anxious?" Parker pretended to be puzzled.

Yang Shuanglin said, "Don't argue with me!"

"I'm not arguing." Parker said.

"You should think about this carefully." Yang Shuanglin tapped the table with his fingers and whispered, "What is the status of the master? If you just casually accept a disciple who comes from nowhere, won't the relationship and seniority be messed up? Don't do anything reckless, kid."

"Don't be nervous, Second Senior Brother." Parker patted Yang Shuanglin on the shoulder. "In the end, it all depends on what Master thinks, right?"

"Don't do those crooked ways." Yang Shuanglin finally commented, "It's not up to standard."

At this moment, there was a knock on the door. Simon had finished washing the dishes and knocked on the door with wet hands to remind the two people in the room that she was there.

"Um..." Simon was a little embarrassed, "I washed it, but I don't know which cupboard to put it in."

"I'll show you the way. Let's go." Parker ostentatiously took Simon's arm and left. He did not forget to turn back and make a disgusting look at Yang Shuanglin.

The more Yang Shuanglin tried to stop Parker from doing anything crooked, the more Parker wanted to go against him.

He is a rebellious person by nature. He likes to take unconventional approaches and is very rebellious.

The gowns Zhao Mengru had made for Parker and Simon were finished. He called Parker, who drove to pick them up personally and took them home for Simon to try on.

Simon had only worn cotton before, and that was the only formality when he went on stage. It was the first time for him to wear such an exquisite and expensive gown, and to be honest, it felt a bit weird.

"I think you look particularly good in black." Parker admired it and said, "Wait a minute, I'll put on mine."

He moved quickly and changed his clothes quickly, then stood side by side with Simon in front of the mirror.

Simon looked at Parker in the mirror, then looked at Parker beside her, feeling a lot of emotion in her heart.

Parker was over 1.80 meters tall, his black coat was ironed to fit him well, with only the narrow white edges of the inner coat showing through the collar and cuffs. He looked three parts romantic and seven parts reserved.

"Teacher Ye, do I look good?" Parker asked Simon in the mirror.

Simon then came back to her senses and realized that her eyes had stayed on Parker for too long, so she quickly turned away.

"Why don't we debut as a group?" Parker asked again, "I think it's almost the same."

Simon said: "You ask me? How should I know?"

Parker thought for a moment and said, "I'd better shed my last drop of blood for the crosstalk industry."

"......We can't get over this." Simon was speechless.

After trying on three sets of clothes, black and frosty white, Simon refused to wear the imperial color one. Parker didn't force him, but just picked a sunny day and tricked Simon into going to the photo studio to take photos.

Parker changed into the Feise dress himself, and asked Simon to change as well. Simon refused, so Parker threatened Simon.

"Now that I'm here, if you don't do it, I'll do it myself!"

It was true that a scholar couldn't explain himself clearly when he met a soldier. Simon kept pestering Parker for a long time before she finally agreed reluctantly.

This photo studio is famous for taking retro old photos. Parker is familiar with the owner and specially asked the photographer to carefully create a set for them.

One of the photos was taken at Parker's strong request. The two of them were wearing the imperial robes. Parker was sitting and asked Simon to stand beside him.

Simon stood there soullessly, but Parker still felt unsatisfied, so he let Simon put one hand on his shoulder.

"What are you doing?" Simon was really driven crazy by Parker.

"This seems more intimate." Parker said.

"Intimacy is bullsh!t!" Simon said, "I'm homophobic!"

Parker said: "This is your fault? How can you be so lewd as to look at someone who is gay?"

Simon said: "What are these words?"

"Hurry up." Parker urged, "This is the last photo. The photographer has to go to dinner after taking the photo. Please don't let your personal emotions interfere with his work!"

Simon felt that Parker should change his name to Xie Youli.

He stood behind Parker, one hand on Parker's shoulder, his face darker than the bottom of a pot.

But the photo only showed him being cold and aloof.

After the photo came out, Parker posted it on his Weibo account, which had only 50,000 followers, without Simon's knowledge. He said nothing and just sent a smiley face.

You have to say that 50,000 fans are still fans. The circle is so small, and Parker doesn't like to post on Weibo. Those who follow him are usually not attracted by his talent, but by his face.

Girls all like young and handsome guys, no one is an exception.

He is just a crosstalk performer, so people will have a preconceived notion that he is an old man or an ugly uncle. In short, he has nothing to do with being handsome.

Such a photo of the two of them brought out more than a dozen long-time zombie fans, each of whom had a lot of question marks in their heads.

"Did the leading actor change his partner?"

Parker posted on Weibo not just to show off, he just wanted to disgust Yang Shuanglin. The more Yang Shuanglin asked him to behave himself, the more he behaved unruly, and he had to let everyone know.

Master Xiaowu is a heretic and doesn't play by the rules.

It’s just that the speed of information dissemination through online media is sometimes faster than he imagined.

As soon as he opened Weibo, that post suddenly had thousands of reposts. A group of enthusiastic female netizens came from nowhere and instantly invaded Parker's Weibo like waves.

"Ahhhh!! Where did this fairy brother come from!"

"They look so good together!"

"Is this a wedding photo?"

Parker was puzzled and followed the source, and finally found the culprit in the heat transfer.

Yao Zhixue: Hey! Second marriage?

Now Parker understood everything.

Yao Zhixue, whose real name is Yao Sheng, is a Weibo celebrity with millions of fans and a winner of the Plum Blossom Award. She was born into a Peking Opera family and performed on stage at the age of four. She has participated in many overseas exchanges and has been performing for 17 years. She is a veteran Peking Opera performer who is deeply loved by the people.

The male dan, nicknamed "Little Yaoxian", has played himself in films directed by international directors. His stunning appearance and graceful image remain in the hearts of girls, and just a few shots of him have become classic materials for various editing sessions.

Of course, this is not the point. The point is that Yao Sheng and Parker are childhood friends and fellow students in the Peking Opera class.

Yao Sheng was just bored and had nothing better to do, so he reposted Parker's Weibo to stir up trouble.

Parker didn't know what this guy was doing, so he immediately found Yao Sheng's WeChat and bombarded her with messages.

"Langweixian, come out here!"

"How do you talk to your senior brother like that?" Yao Sheng answered quickly.

"You damn b!tch, how come you feel uncomfortable without water?" Parker began to nag, "What the hell is that you are talking about in this repost? What kind of nonsense are you trying to lead? It's immoral!"

"How can you surf the Internet without being wild?" Yao Sheng said, "You still tell me that it is immoral? It's obviously because you are gay. Oh, I'm really annoyed by your saying that crosstalk partners are like husband and wife. Every time you make it so gay, it's unbearable to watch, disgusting!"

"We are a small business, and there are really no gays in your circle," said Parker.

"Don't worry, you have formally become my disciple. What do you mean by high circle? Isn't it just you and me?" Yao Sheng replied.

"Can you please stop being so frivolous?" Parker said, "I can smell your dirty smell even from 800 miles away. Can't you say something nice to bring me some fans when you forward it? What the hell is a second marriage? I'm single and I haven't even had my first marriage! Wouldn't Teacher Ye scold me to death if he knew about this?"

"But everyone seems to like this disgusting business!" Yao Sheng said, "I think it's okay. How many fans have you gained?"

Parker looked at it and said, "It's one hundred thousand now."

Yao Sheng said: "You should kneel down and thank me."

Parker said: "You should die quickly."

Yao Sheng said: "How dare you speak to my senior brother like that!"

"What's wrong?" Parker started to show off, "Come and hit me if you dare! I'm waiting for you at home!"

It was past one in the middle of the night. When Yao Sheng saw this, he locked his phone, got dressed immediately, grabbed his car keys and drove along the Third Ring Road in the night.

He quickly arrived at Parker's house, pressed the combination lock with a few clicks, and pushed the door while shouting: "Parker, you bastard, get out of here! I'm here! Let's fight! Come on, come on! Get your weapons!"

The living room was pitch black, with only the refrigerator door open and the light on. A person was standing in front of it, wearing pajamas, holding a bottle of AD calcium milk, looking at him in horror.

"Who can I rely on?" Yao Sheng asked.

Simon also wanted to know what was going on. He just got up in the middle of the night to get some water to drink, and there was only AD calcium milk in the refrigerator. Just as he opened it, someone suddenly broke into the room and started shouting. Are home robberies so blatant these days?

"You..." Simon looked carefully. This man's hair was a little long, and it was naturally curly at the neck. He was tall, probably about the same height as Parker. Although his expression was a little weird, it still did not hide his heroic and outstanding temperament.

From a distance, Simon could feel the other party's aura.

Arrogant, especially arrogant.

"Damn, you're really here!" Parker ran out of the room, pointing at the clock and saying, "It's almost two o'clock in the middle of the night! The chickens are all asleep!"

"Little Fifth Master, you're fine!" Yao Sheng saw Simon's appearance and laughed, "I thought you were just a gay, but I didn't expect you to be involved in cohabitation art creation? I've known you for half my life, how come I didn't know you had this habit?"

Parker said: "Oh my god, is it that the porn is not good or the soybean paste is not tasty? Why are you talking so much nonsense? What kind of fetish do I have! Don't spread rumors. I tell you that if you spread rumors and forward them more than 500 times, you will be held legally responsible!"

Yao Sheng said: "I am talking about your habit of drinking AD calcium milk."

"You better die!"

"Don't talk about this for now. I'm here to fight you. A man's words are as good as his bond!" Yao Sheng said loudly, "Come and fight me!"

I forgot to mention that Comrade Yao Sheng has another nickname.

On the stage is Yu Ji, off the stage is Overlord.